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    December 22

    这个男人(2006.9.30)

    他很爱我,极尽所能的那种,无论我有什么要求,只要我开心,他便会做到!
    他不会说爱我,但我知道他是,他是个深沉的男人,即使面孔有多么的冷漠我依然能够感受到那双牵挂我的眼睛,很小我就学会在那里面寻找我要的爱,这是我们的秘密!
    他打过我,但只有一次,我哭得很伤心,过了很久我却忘了,但是他记得,他说他发誓不再动我一根手指,他做到了!
    他被我伤害过,在众人面前我让他丢尽了面子,他只是一笑而过,看见我后悔的泪水,还拥我入怀告诉我他能理解我的心情,从那一刻起我就发誓不会再去伤害他一分一毫,可是我食言了。我用我的冷漠向他宣战,不只对他,对所有的男人,他很伤心,却从不表露,每次看到他孤单离去的背影我心如刀割,可下一次面对时他收到的却依旧只有冷漠,甚至冷言冷语!在那时,那是我的保护壳,我知道我在伤害他,伤害这个世界上最爱我的男人,但是没有办法,他的包容让我变本加厉。
    终于有一天,我要离开他,奔赴远方,临走前我们默默相对,我知道他很舍不得我,其实我也是,可是我不能不走,他也知道,于是他开始在等待中过活,等不到时他就用酒精麻醉自己,然后告诉他身边的人,他想我,他身边的人告诉我说他哭了,我说我不信,其实我是相信的,我清楚他的感受,只是我真的回不去啊~
    我们很少通电话,他说他紧张,不知道通过那条细细的线能够跟我说些什么,他最希望的是能够看到我,我笑他,说他其实不是真的想我,他很认真地说他不会骗我,我依旧在笑,心却在流泪,那份想念我岂能不知,可是习惯了隐藏的我们谁都不肯说出罢了。
    又到了我的生日,我知道他很惦记我,但是我依旧不能回去与他同过,上一次与他同过是什么时候已经不记得了,以后也不会太有机会,所以我很想他,真得很想,今年的生日愿望是,愿你保重!为我珍重!
    我爱你!

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